1. Learning to trust people, to either rely on when you really need help, or to tell people the complete down and dirty truth about your life without fear (or just not wanting to tolerate) being judged. This is something we are constantly weighing out. We would rather suffer alone than be judged, ridiculed, teased, or rejected when we actually finally pull ourselves to ask for a favor. We can’t even trust our own bodies, who can blame us?
2. Losing our independence. and understandably so, as a human being this is one of the most confusing and traumatizing things to experience. “Able-bodied” people don’t have to think twice about standing, walking, taking a shower, breathing, hell just existing takes so much effort that no one will ever fully understand unless you go through it yourself. And none of us would wish that on anyone. (Unless of course you tell us we’re faking it, suck it up, etc then maaayybbbeee you can see what it’s like for a bit😉) We realize it’s very hard to understand, we all go through phases of feeling crazy, but so would you. Your body doesn’t work right anymore? You look like a healthy 25 year old, but you feel like a dying cancer patient closer to the age of 80? But that’s a 55 year difference you say? Yep, and we’ll live that entire time suffering this way. But hey “at least you don’t have cancer”.
3. Ignorant, uncaring, lazy doctors. Generally healthy people have more trust in their doctors, they seem to be very knowledgable when you have an infection, a cold, minor things. They can get you up and running in no time. They should be able to fix pretty much everything right? *Do you hear that? That’s the sound of spoonies everywhere laughing uncontrollably…* I remember being so shocked that I had all of these crazy symptoms that just kept getting worse, and the doctors pretty much telling me “Welp! Sorry but I have no clue what’s wrong with you. And I don’t feel comfortable prescribing anything that can give you relief so you can actually function and take care of yourself, but instead, let’s try something that will take weeks to work, if it even does at all. Oh, and I know you said you were in excruciating pain, but you need to suck it up and exercise. Try some yoga! And lastly, make sure you make follow up appointments every few weeks to pay for me to tell you that nothing works and to do more yoga. The nurse will show you out. Next!” (If you find a good doctor, never let them go!)
4. Guilt, guilt and more guilt. Did we somehow do this to ourselves? Did we eat at mcdonalds one too many times, drank one too many Carmel Macchiatos and now our bodies are forever pissed at us and seeking revenge? Yes we know we bailed on our plans from last week, I’ve been beating myself up about it ever since. (Yes honey, mommy is sick all the time and I’m sorry I can’t get up and play tag with you but I will watch you play with your brother!) The guilt of not being able to do all the things “everyone else” can do can be just as debilitating as the pain. We don’t have much control over lots of things. But do we feel bad about it? You bet your ass we do.
5. Being The Flakey Friend. We all want to go out and have a good time like every one else. We want to be able to actually spend quality time with friends and family, maybe host a barbecue, be the friend that throws the surprise party. But we’re trapped in a body that’s constantly battling us. And just to get up and take a shower is quite the feat some days. But for some reason, those days seem to always be when we are invited out to social function. And as much as we don’t want to, we have to cancel for the third time in a row. The anxiety from that is enough to send us into a flare on its own. So please try to be understanding. And please don’t stop inviting us. One of these days it will land on a good pain day.
6. Fellow Spoonies, this ones for you everybody’s struggles are different. Reblog and add what some of your toughest struggles are if I haven’t mentioned it already.The best gift you can give us is support. Love and Spoons to you all xoxo
1. Do not kill yourself.
Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.
2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.
3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.
4. He is going to break your heart
but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.*Fuck him. He wasn’t good enough for you. Mondays and being male has nothing to do with it.*
5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do
heroic and good deeds*whatever the fuck you want* and give your name your own meaning.
fight*give in to* your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. *Learn from them and kick them to the fucking curb.* Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.
7. Music is good for your soul.
Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again.It’s healthy.
Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.*Do whatever the fuck you want to do and fuck the rest. You ARE attractive.*
Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up.Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live. *Clearly sadness and depression can be poetic, a lot of songs and poems are about sadness and they are beautiful. Every part about yourself is beautiful. The good and the bad.*
10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.
11. You are allowed to be angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers
do notbloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.*Sometimes mothers can be shitty human beings, some mothers don’t deserve to have children, but that doesn’t have any effect on your worth! Ever! The world can be a horrible place, but there’s so much more beauty in it too.*
12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast. *Or not. That’s okay too.*
Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.*Eat and sleep whenever the fuck you want and whenever the fuck works for you.*
Dare you.(via good-looks-kid)
I will keep reblogging until someone asks.(via les-mesaventures)